EFJ兒童的特點 (ESFJ / ENFJ)

EFJ特徵
EFJ Traits

  • 友好開朗,非常敏感並和他人的感情同步
    Friendly and outgoing. Very sensitive and in tune with others' feelings
  • 他們會因為爭執而變得不安
    They become very upset by conflict
  • 樂觀熱情,他們是完美主義者,並對自己要求很嚴
    Upbeat and enthusiastic. They are perfectionists, and can be very hard on themselves
  • 喜歡和人在一起,需要和其他人做很多互動交流
    Enjoy people, and need a lot of interaction with others
  • 不喜歡一個人呆著
    Dislike being alone
  • 他們喜歡取悅人,可能會盡自己的全力去爭取他人的支持
    They love to please people, and may go to great lengths for their approval
  • 喜愛說大話,渴望照顧其他人
    Big talkers. Show a desire to take care of others
  • 經常需要很多身體上的撫愛
    They usually need a lot of physical affection
  • 喜歡成為注意的中心人物
    Enjoy being the center of attention
  • 讚揚讓他們興奮,批評讓他們沮喪
    Thrive on praise, and can be crushed by criticism
  • 主動又富有活力
    Active and energetic
  • 他們通常喜歡學校
    They usually enjoy school
  • 他們很獨立並想為自己做事
    They're independent and want to do things for themselves
  • 更喜歡領導而不是遵循他人
    They prefer to lead rather than follow
  • 他們果斷堅定,很有權威性
    They are decisive and authoritative

潛在優勢
Potential Strengths

  • 他們有著善良,甜美,開放的天性
    They have kind, sweet and open natures
  • 很容易交朋友,通常很受歡迎
    They make friends easily, and are usually popular
  • 他們很有條理和組織,儘管他們可能會,也可能不會很整潔
    They are structured and organized, although they may or may not be very neat
  • 他們通常是值得信賴的,而且很勤奮
    They are usually dependable and hard working
  • 擅長做計劃並經常從頭到底地執行計劃
    They are good at making plans and usually follow through on them
  • 如果規則被清晰定義並持續執行的話,他們將會尊重並遵守它們
    They will respect and follow rules if they are clearly defined and consistently enforced
  • 他們通常是有禮貌,行為端正的孩子,可能是由於他們渴望社會承認的緣故
    They are usually well-mannered and well-behaved children, probably because they crave social approval
  • 他們很會察言觀色,並知道如何贏取好感
    They can read other people very well, and know how to get on their good sides
  • 他們是很有魅力和有趣的
    They are charming and fun

潛在劣勢
Potential Weaknesses

  • 他們強烈和熱情的感情讓他們非常敏感
    Their intense and passionate feelings make them hyper-sensitive
  • 他們如此地想去取悅他人,以致於他們可能去做實際上不想做的事情
    They're so interested in pleasing others that they might do things that they don't really want to do
  • 他們可能太過興奮 說話太過大聲
    They may be overly loud and exciteable
  • 他們如此渴望去取悅別人,以至於他們可能會撒謊,或誇張地說一些他們以為其他人想聽的東西
    They want to please others so much that they will lie or exaggerate to say something that they think someone wants to hear
  • 不可能毫無沮喪感地就接受了批評
    Cannot take criticism at all without becoming very upset
  • 有控制慾和把持欲
    Can be controlling and manipulative
  • 他們傾向在完全理解事實前,就快速地做出決定
    They may tend to make decisions too quickly, without understanding all of the facts
  • 他們傾向捲入其他人的麻煩中
    They tend to get in the middle of other people's problems
  • 他們需要談論他們自己的感情,來正確處理他們的問題
    They need to talk a lot about their feelings in order to get them into perspective
  • 他們對於變化很不舒服,通常不能很好地適應新環境
    They are uncomfortable with change and do not usually adapt well to new situations

EFJ學習方式
EFJ Learning Style

EFJ兒童通常喜歡上學,因為這滿足了他們天生的需要。他們經常在學校裡找到能和他們互動的人,並喜歡有條理的環境。他們通常是負責又努力的學生,儘管他們對於社交的關注會讓他們很容易分散注意力。
EFJ children usually enjoy going to school, because it meets many of their natural needs. They always find people to interact with at school and they enjoy the structured environment. They are usually responsible and hard working students, although their interest in being social may cause them to be easily distracted in the classroom.

一個EFJ對於和他人持續互動的需要會讓他們很難安靜地坐下來,獨自地做事情。他們非常喜歡團體合作,當他們能夠大聲的和他人談論他們的想法和方案時,他們會做的更好。如果一個EFJ能和一個朋友,而不是他自己一人一起工作的話,他將會更加快樂更加高效。
An EFJ's need to constantly interact with others makes it difficult for them to sit quietly and do a project on their own. They greatly prefer group projects, and usually do better when they can talk through their ideas and tasks out loud with others. If an EFJ is allowed to work with a friend rather than working alone, he or she will almost always be happier and more productive.

EFJ們有對和諧的強烈的需求,很容易因爭執而不安。要想在一個既定的課堂上表現良好,他們需要感覺到他們的老師喜歡他們。如果孩子和老師還沒有結成親密關係,EFJ兒童會假定老師不喜歡他們。一個老師應該花點時間瞭解EFJ兒童,讓這個孩子明白老師很高興自己的課堂上有他。
EFJs have a strong need for harmony and are quickly unsettled by conflict. They need to feel that their teacher likes them in order to be able to function well in a given class. If the child and teacher have not formed a bond, the EFJ child may assume that the teacher does not like them. A teacher should take a few extra moments to get to know the EFJ child, and let the child know that they are glad to have them in their class.

EFJ們在規則和期望被清晰地描述時最舒服。在他們完成任務或作業前,他們會想要一個計劃。如果任務還沒被計劃出來,他們需要明確的規則和目標來自己創造一個計劃。
EFJs are most comfortable when the rules and expectations are spelled out clearly. Before they can complete any task or assignment, they will want to have a plan. If the task is not already planned out, they need to have the rules and goals clearly defined so that they can create a plan.

EFJ的特殊需要
EFJ Special Needs

對很多家長來說,不摧毀孩子的精神又能找到一個方法來懲戒ETJ是項很困難的任務。EFJ兒童對批評超級敏感,懲罰會使他們完全無力。父母可以通過明確定義規定,闡明對孩子行為的期望,來減少不必要的對他們EFJ孩子們的懲罰。如果你需要懲戒你的孩子,確保他們知道你這樣做是為他們好,而且你還愛著他們。
Finding a way to discipline their EFJ without crushing their spirit will be a difficult task for many parents. EFJ children are hyper-sensitive to criticism, and can be completely disable by punishment. Parents can diminish the need to punish their EFJ children by clearing defining the rules and expectations for the child's behavior. Rules should be enforced consistently and as kindly as possible. If you need to discipline your child, make sure that they know that you are doing it for their own good, and that you still love them.

父母和老師應該儘可能頻繁地給予EFJ孩子正面的鼓勵。有些T型成人經常不去表達他們的愛意和珍視。他們認為他們的孩子明白他們的感情,不必一遍遍地表達它們。F型兒童需要鼓勵與反饋。如果一個成人一點都不給予,這就相當於在F型兒童的心靈中給予了負面的反饋(即不支持)
Parents and teachers of EFJ children should give them positive feedback as often as possible. Some Thinking adults often do not express love or admiration. They believe that their kids know how they feel, so it's not necessary to express themselves over and over again. Feeling children need to hear the feedback. If an adult doesn't give them any feedback at all, this is often equal to negative feedback in the Feeling child's mind.

EFJ兒童用熱情和激情來感受事物。他們將會帶著這個特性過完他們的一生。讓他們不必為這樣強烈的感情而感到愧疚或愚蠢是很重要的。有些善意的父母可能不希望他們的孩子對環境有如此的情緒反應,並且可能會試圖淡化他們孩子的感情。這是個錯誤。EFJ兒童將會變成EFJ成年人,沒有任何事能改變這一點。然而,EFJ的父母可以影響孩子整個人生的幸福感。父母應該鼓勵他們的EFJ孩子學會分享他們的感情,不帶任何尖刻判斷地去傾聽孩子(的想法)
EFJ children feel things intensely and passionately. They will carry this trait with them throughout their lives. It's important that they're not made to feel guilty or foolish for having such strong feelings. Some well-meaning parents might not want their children to have such emotional reactions to situations, and may try to downplay their children's feelings. That is a mistake. EFJ children will grow into EFJ adults, and nothing will change that. However, the EFJ's parents will influence the child's general happiness and effectiveness throughout their lives. Parents should encourage their EFJ children to share their feelings, and should listen to them without harsh judgment.

EFJ們樂於社交上的活躍,喜歡成為一個集體一部分的感覺。他們也會在幫助他人中獲得快樂。這些是他們生命中最強有力的特性。為了他們健康的成長,EFJ應當被鼓勵去參加一些團體活動,像女子童子軍或男子童子軍。他們也會從有組織的宗教和社區志願活動中獲益。團隊運動為他們充沛的身體能量提供了很好的發洩口,也滿足了他們的社交需要。
EFJs love to be socially active and feel like part of a group. They also thrive on opportunities to help others. These attributes are some of the strongest that they will have to offer in their lives. To encourage their healthy development, EFJs should be encouraged to participate in group activites like Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts. They will also benefit from organized religion and community volunteer work. Team sports are an excellent outlet for their abundant physical energy, as well as their social needs.

EFJ對於變化不舒服,可能會警惕克制地進入一個新環境。父母和照顧兒童的人應該給EFJ調整的時間,而不能緊逼他們。幫助EFJ兒童把新環境當做他以前經歷過的事情的一部分將有利於他們的調整。
EFJs are uncomfortable with change, and will probably approach an unknown situation with caution and reserve. Parents and caregivers should give their EFJ time to adjust to the idea rather than pushing them. Helping the EFJ child to see the new situation within the context of something that the EFJ has already experienced will help them adjust.

「缺失」的字母
The "Missing" Letter

成人人格類型包含四個字母,而7到12歲的兒童只用到三個。丟失的那個字母到哪兒去了?它就在那兒,我們只是無法在一個人13歲前就確定它罷了。EFJ兒童將會成長為ESFJ照顧者,或者是ENFJ給予者。在他們發展的這個階段,他們將選用直覺還是感知來輔助他們的F偏好,這不是很明顯。你將會看到他們練習使用直覺和感知功能,直到他們定下所偏好的一項。對一些孩子來說,確定「丟失的字母」是可能的,但對於很多孩子,我們只能再等幾年才能下判斷。
Adult personality types contain four letters, while for kids aged 7-12 we use three letter types. What happened to the missing letter? It's there, we just can't usually determine what it is until after a person is 13 years old. EFJ kids will grow up to be either ESFJ "Caregivers" or ENFJ "Givers". At this stage in their development, it's not obvious whether they will choose Intuition or Sensing to complement their Feeling preference. You will see the child practicing both Intuition and Sensing as they settle down into their preferred function. In some children, it's possible to distinguish their "missing" letter, but for many kids we just have to wait a few years to be sure.